Is it possible that I am not so bad? I think I am the worst person in the world. I think everything is exceedingly dismal. Then I wake up alive again. I do not know why this is going on. I wanted to start dying but it’s not happening. Bob Dylan once sang: “If my thought-dreams could be seen / they’d probably put my head in a guillotine” Nice, huh? This was probably around the “bringing it all back home” period when he was really acting weird.
So I think I am doing, or writing, something horrible and then I go back to read the piece and every point was well-argued and nothing so bad there at all.
So I really do not understand it. I wake up into a world I do not deserve to be alive in because I honestly believe what my saintly asshole dad told me all the time. That there is something wrong with me. And then he claimed he never said it at all and I was just saying that because -of course -there was something terrible wrong with me and I always do the wrong thing or anyways dad knows, he was in WWII and he owns a fur store and there is certainly nothing wrong with him. So I do not understand why I do not just die and stop bothering people.
I am getting at least thirty views per essay, so that is at least looking up.
Here is a video by my fellow bad person/doppelganger:
James Brown, an icon of whatever, was still raging violent person. Bashed his wife, bashed his child, loved guns, crashed his car, drank himself to death. Super bad... No Soul.