Puke, Fart, Die

-a tribute to Lindsay Hunter

Nov 10, 2023

Who says life is sexier on the other side. Lindsay Hunter keeps us on her side of the dark. She come from trailer trash. In Florida. But she was not that sexy. Because she was fat. And poor. Her book was “Don’t Kiss Me,” I don’t know about any other books of hers. She may well have a few more by now. Roxane Gay knows her. I use an eight year-old laptop. I don’t get around that much. I do not have any money. It goes for rent. And then there is no more. It read like a horror story of how to have a good time when you are ugly. Her next books was “Ugly Girls.” I didn’t like it. I would say, “Well, maybe she is not any good after all.” Except — how can you call someone “no good” when she is actually no good? I mean she is fat and ugly. So is Roxane Gay. They are good friends. Hunter is, I believe married. Some lucky guy In Chicago. I know Chicago. I have been there but I didn’t know her.

It is not exactly romance, in the standard sense. Her characters are going downhill and maybe they have some sex on the way down, forget the guy, he was prop she was just using, while in her general free fall. Maybe she is not really that good. But boy did like that book. I know I liked the book.

This much I know: Her book is really extremely real. I cannot remember it per se, but I just watched on U tube and then it came back. Now I could remember. Her flawless delivery. Roxane Gay likes her. Her book, “Don’t Kiss Me” read really well. Roxane is now promoting Lindsay’s newest novel. I hav nooooooooooooooooo idear.

I tried to read her second one. I did not like it. So maybe the girl is finished.

I think she is finished. Nevertheless, I liked her. At one time.

Somebody using the Goodreads company’s free website (it’s probably goodreads.com or something) did us the favor of putting together a series of quotes from the book. You can go there on the website up until they kick you off and ask you to pay.

Then? After reading their pitch for membership and listening to them try to get you to give up your email Info, and all the other sick stuff these Internet companies do, then you just go back on all over again. And that would be exactly the Lindsay Hunter style, for this her one good book as far as I know. So here now is Hanna, a bonafide goodreads reader, making a list of quotes. Once again: It is from Lindsay’s book, Don’t Kiss Me. (p.s. added as an edit: you can see how she is always dying in that book…)

These were my favorite 'quotes' from DON'T KISS ME:

"Me wondering why they don't say nothing about a kiss being salty as a tear."

"...THE SUN MELTING LIKE THE DISCONTINUED PSYCHEDELIC SHERBERT LINE."

"The sky is pink meatblood, is a runny sorbet, the sun is a melting butterscotch, the sky is a dirty plate."

"Time is a thing that moves. We are not the ones moving."

"He wondered if things shimmered when she looked at them as they did for him. He wondered if she felt like her insides were on her outsides all the time like he did."

"Loneliness is a nightly death, bed a burial."

"It's me. You can be you. I've been honest and I'm being honest now. Blood is just as thick as we've heard. Blood doesn't cool if you admit relief. That rust-colored pump will throb on and on."

"How about: blood congeals and forms a skin. Or: our man's dying breath lasted fifteen seconds. This: we both love(d) you more than life itself."

"Dearest love, let me count the ways. Dismemberment, garroted, poisoned, drowned, named. I read that as soon as a species is named it begins its travels up the endangered list. Discovery meaning death."

"If the end of the world came...what? If the end of the world came...but he just felt tired. If the end of the world came, good night."

"...I ain't no delicate sunflower juddering in your grandma's vase..."