One Word Is as Good as Another

~ words. What are they good for. I just may end up like Gertrude Stein. But there are worse fates....

My writing is getting worse. It isn’t getter better, no. Rather worse. I was reading some things. I was reading these things that were stored in my laptop, recently written, but I had the experience of hearing it as gibberish, incomprehensible. My mind does seem to be different. It works differently because I am Autistic. And as I become old, there is not change. It is not getting better. Why should it. Gets worse.

For instance, I seem to “believe in” whatever I wrote last. A bad sign for any writer is believing in anything you wrote just because it is you, the brilliant one. It is merely the most recent idea that has come to me. That always seems highly valuable. So I write it down. But without a long-term plan it just becomes old.

Well, I am just living in the moment, writing down some things. So, obviously — this shit will accumulate (well yeah, if I write it down). The end result? No narrative continuity. I cannot help it. This is how I think. (Temple Grandin wrote Thinking in Pictures; so, I notice the word there; I just used the word “think.” I feel some sort of confirmation.)

I look at the top of this present piece I am doing, and I see already filled in, in a sort of gray hue, “title.” The word “Title” is there, and I think, “Wow, maybe that is a good name!” It is just the empty space with the gray-ish prompt filled in for dummies but for me one word is as good as another to me.

No, I am definitely not normal. Perhaps I should write in what they once called “experimental” style?

Maybe I should just go full rad on this — and emulate all those weird writers of the earlier era. I adored those persons. I mean, Burroughs? “Cut-up” method? Why don’t I just do it and seriously go that way?

So, related to this, I am thinking of writing down whatever I think at the moment, doing that all day, and then at the “end” of whenever I arrange the segments.

Why am I afraid to do that?

Isn’t that what I want to do?

---

I suppose (I should) put them in the “From the Street…” Section. Since I have so many things going on, e.g. quite a few ‘Sections.’ I have: Newsletter, ECONO, archive, street, poet, and conversations.